My dear Mr. Quincy

Hi.

Just the other day I was perusing the home page on facebook, and I happened across an engagement picture album of one of my highschool classmates. Just looking at the photos, you could tell that those two really were happy with each other, that they were right for each other. And then it led me to thinking that a lot of the people I knew in highschool are engaged or already married even. So my train of thought brought me to think about my Mr. Right - my Mr. Quincy.

So. Mr. Quincy. Is not a real person. Well he technically is, but not actually right now. He's my future someone (that I haven't met yet unfortunately). Where I got the name? Well, the story begins in highschool. It was during study hall, when one of the conversations I was having with a friend had steered around to crushes. And of course, I currently had a crush at the time and was being very tight lipped about it. As my friend's frustration grew, she suddenly stopped her line of inquiry to announce, "His name is Mr. Quincy isn't it?" After a seemingly pregnant pause, we broke out into rambunctious laughter drawing the attention of those seated near us. When we finally managed to cease hyperventilating, it was ultimately decided, that from that moment onward, regardless of who I might currently be crushing on, we would forever call my future husband "Mr. Quincy".

A lot of girls have these desires about their perfect soul-mates, and the topic actually comes up quite a lot in some situations. When asked of mine, I tend to draw a blank, and then shy away from answering with the excuse that once I started I wouldn't be able to prevent myself from getting picky about actual guys. But really that answer is utter and complete bull shit.

I like to say that to this point, I tend to choose guys based on a gut instinct, and that I don't really have a checklist of sorts that I mentally go through when I get to know them. And to a certain extent, it's true. I've realized that I tend to go for the guys that I think return the interest that I show them. But I do have a few little things that I tend to look for regardless. For instance, Mr. Quincy must be able to keep a beat. This is an absolute must. Why? I've grown up in a family where music and dance is an important part of who we are, and so any child of mine must be able to keep a beat to at least appreciate music and dance. And what way is that easiest to ensure that? Make sure the daddy can also keep a beat ^_^.

Mr. Quincy should also like to dance. Now notice, I do not mention that he should be able to dance, or good at dancing. He simply must enjoy it with exuberance! It's really just because I like to dance. And so if we were to go out or to functions where dancing is present, I'd like Mr. Quincy to dance with me, not sit off to the side, because it's about enthusiasm, not skill. It's about being able to spend time with each other and have fun.

Another thing I've discovered, is that I'd like it if Mr. Quincy knew how to smile (and I mean really smile, not the yeah, yeah whatever sort of smile). I don't need him to be the funny guy, but I definitely need him to be able to take my sarcasm and jokes directed at him. Despite the fact that my sarcasm has toned down quite a bit, I am still quite judgmental and my sarcasm can sting quite a bit. Not everyone can brush it off in a nonchalant manner like I think they can. But what smiling also indicates to me is that Mr. Quincy knows how to enjoy himself and have a good time. It even shows that he can get along with others socially. Really I just want Mr. Quincy to be a nice guy.

Here is where I move to the random physical things I look for, that usually are pretty easy to get from a first glance. My big thing is height. Now I have nothing against shorter guys, but I'd like it if Mr. Quincy was tall enough that I only match his height in my heels (~2-3 inches). It's simply because I like to cuddle and snuggle and the like. It just feels nice when a guy can envelope you in an embrace. Frankly, Mr. Quincy can't be someone that shuns physical contact, because I know that even if I'm not going for something intimate, I will definitely be seeking contact: whether it is brushing a hand across his forehead, sitting down directly next to each other, or curling into his warmth.

So beyond this, I tend not to be more specific, because I don't want to ignore a potentially great guy, just because he doesn't meet up to the standards I have set in my head. And the more experience I get, the more I can understand what sort of dynamics I'd like in a relationship with Mr. Quincy, or what would make me happy. Frankly, I could get into subjects such as how I'd like to raise my children, and the way I'd like my home to be, but that doesn't have much to do with Mr. Quincy, aside from the fact that he's have to agree with all that I have decided.

Now when we talk about Mr. Quincy, we are referring to my future husband, so of course my family has voiced their own opinions on this, primarily my mother. The bottom line requirement she has is that he needs to pass her test. What does that include? Most important, he must treat me right in her eyes. This is one requirement that I have to agree with her on. If my family thinks that Mr. Quincy isn't treating me properly (but I can't see it) then I believe they have my best interests at heart and Mr. Quincy really can't be considered Mr. Quincy at all. The next portion of my mother's test would include checking whether he can get along with my family. In my home, when you marry someone, you marry their family. So coming from the dysfunctional extended family I have, it is very important to my mother that Mr. Quincy gets along with my own immediate family very well. If not, then he must be rejected ^_^. Beyond this my mother says she has no other requirements, but I know that it is her wish that Mr. Quincy comes from a similar background as I do. The other day she put it quite nicely:
   "So, when you find the man you plan on marrying, I don't care where he's from as long as he cares for you. But... if he was Indian, well that would be great! And - if he was South Indian - it would be even better! And if he was Kannada (from Karnataka) - well that would just be amazing! And if he was an Iyengar (a certain sect of South Indian Hindus) - I'd probably die of happiness!"
As you can probably tell, it would be her dream that I find someone that is exactly like me, so that I could have the best possible life with my Mr. Quincy. But I am glad that she understands that I live in the US, so it might not happen quite like that.

All other things aside, I know that Mr. Quincy may not fit any of the ideals that I have in mind now and that my ideals can and probably will change in the future. So despite the fact that my roommate insists that she is my perfect Mr. Quincy already, I plan to keep an open mind, and look for the Mr. Quincy that might just manage to pull me into his arms and sweep me away. ^_^


For my one and only Mr. Quincy, who can make me feel so smooth:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXp413NynFk