Hi.
I miss it. I miss dancing.
In my previous post I mentioned how sleeping was one of my respites from the world. And dancing is the respite of respites. The rush of adrenaline from physically exerting oneself, the flow of the music, how it takes over your body, leaving your mind blank of all but the movements of your body. And I fell in love with it at the age of four.
Alright, maybe I didn't fall in love with it then (I was probably more awed), but I have definitely come to love it, as it has become an integral part of my identity.
When I say dancing, many things probably come to mind, because dance has roots in every culture of the world. My experiences began with a form of dance older than many others, Bharathanatyam (b-natyam for short), the oldest form of classical Indian dance. For this, I really have my mother to thank. It was because she took me to a performance when I was a toddler that I was first exposed to the dance form. And on my instance of learning, she found a teacher and started sending me to class. Some of you may know that there are other forms of classical Indian dance, but my bias towards b-natyam probably comes from my mom ^_^. From there, my mom has done nothing by supporting me through it: being the strict critic of my technique; making me take Carnatic music, mrudanga, and kunakol lessons (definitions respectively: Carnatic = south Indian classical music; mrudanga = south Indian classical drum; kunakol = the method to say dance movements for performances); taking me to India for training; and being my support as I moved onto solo performances in the US and India. I truly can't thank her enough for all that she's done. Along with b-natyam, my mother took me to ballet lessons and got me involved with a classical Indian fusion dance team.
Once I entered college, not only did I continue with b-natyam in India, I also joined the classical dance team on campus. In addition, I joined the Indian fusion dance team. Together, I danced at least 2 hours every night for 4 days every week. In the following years I became captain and choreographer for both teams, and I have to say that it was an amazing experience.
In addition to dancing competitively and professionally, I love going out to dance. Frankly it doesn't have to be out to a club. My requirements are that there have to be people who have the enthusiasm to dance and a great selection of music. There is something about being able to enjoy yourself in the company of others while dancing - maybe it's just the energy that surrounds it. But unfortunately, these circumstances are usually accompanied with alcohol. I just wish more people could do that sober. Can you imagine it? But as much as I like this dancing (or even grinding to the music), I only need it once every once in a while. Too much of it, and it tends to lose its charm. It's not the dancing that I crave.
The dance I crave is the dancing I do for me and me alone. It's something I don't like to show others and is my true respite. It may be fast and blood pumping, or tantalizingly slow and romantic. There is no one specific style of dance that I could call it, because it is a mixture of everything that I know. It's really feeling the music and moving instinctively to it. It can be inspired by any music. It could be just a beat or just a single instrument playing a sweet melody. Words are not required. Classical, pop, jazz, it doesn't matter. It's the way I can let out any pent up emotion and allow myself some form of release. I don't know why I started to dance like this, but I've been doing this since I was 10: playing music and finding an empty part of the house to move to it. And maybe it's because I am no longer dancing almost every night of the week, but the need to dance like that haunts me more than ever.
I find that my dancing also has influenced many other things I enjoy, like my taste in music. You can bet that if there is a good beat to it, I'll be all over that ^_^. But let's leave that subject for another day now shall we?
Lost without it, and hoping the moment arrives soon. Dance on:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xxwvzhaBAWk
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