Me Day. Celebrate it!

Hi.

So this upcoming Monday is a special day for me! Haha, well at least I like to think that it is, because it's my birthday. This year, I fully plan on capitalizing on the circumstances that this year has offered.

Since I am no longer on any dance teams, I no longer have to worry about the annual Cultural Show, organized by the university's Office of Multicultural Affairs, or the late night practices. The Culture Show is a big deal on campus, and possibly the largest audience any of the performing teams will dance for the entire year (even bigger than the freshman orientation show). However, without fail the show has landed on the Saturday of my birthday weekend every year. And let's not forget the sound checks and dress rehearsals the day of the show (the past few years my birthday has been on a Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday). This leaves a limited amount of time to go out or even hold a party at my place. In terms of late night practices, I no longer have the responsibility of attending or holding practices as captain. For example, the classical Indian dance team I am on holds an exhibition for Indian arts the weekend before Thanksgiving. So the week and a half before the show is filled with several practices, all with required attendance by all dancing members. So finally my weekend has been freed for my celebrating purposes, and the only restriction, is making sure that those who still do have to attend these things can make it to at least one part of my celebrations. Now, what is it that I am doing to embrace my free weekend?

Here's the plan: Friday night will be a face-painting party, an easy way to get pretty much all the people I know to come and have fun. Saturday, we'll be heading downtown for a night of dancing! Sunday, I figured I'd give everyone a break, so it'll be something chill like brunch, or going to a movie. And finally for the Day itself, we'll be heading out for some salsa dancing! Yeah, it's a Monday night, but I definitely plan to celebrate at least in one way ^_^. Frankly I just can't wait for it to be Friday right now.

Why the need for such elaborate celebrating you might ask? Well it's my last year here (if my plans work out like they are supposed to), and I'd like to spend my last birthday here, celebrating with the people I've come to know over the years (and maybe some of the people I just met). There will be memories, and of course the photos that go along with them, and I know I won't be forgetting them anytime soon.

But underneath that I think there's another reason. Growing up, my birthday was always the biggest shabang ever. My mom would go all out in the planning and we'd have games, arts and crafts, the cakes, and of course presents galore. But as the years passed, I started to realize that aside from enjoying the events and food she had planned, I didn't seem to enjoy the parties as the social events they were meant to be. No longer was inviting the girls from my soccer team or all the kids from my class ok. Because at that point I started to realize that I never was actually friends with those people. Sure when you're younger, you just need the people to be there to play with, who cares who they are. Then as you grow up, you get the little tight knit groups that form, groups that I wasn't often a part of (due to the large number of extracurricular activities I was sent to, playing with friends wasn't much of a priority). It's was probably then that I slowly stopped thinking of my birthday as a big deal. Especially when someone else has been taking care of the planning.

As I neared my later years in highschool, my mentality on birthdays did not change. However, I began to wish that people would wish me happy birthday without having to be reminded. Sure I love getting gifts, but it wasn't about the gifts or the parties - it was about the thought. I started to yearn for friends that would remember my birthday (without my reminding them) and cared enough about me as a person to do something little like say happy birthday or make a card. So if I did dress up for my birthday, they would know why without having to ask. To this day, I still feel sad when I have to tell anyone that it's my birthday: it just leaves me with an empty feeling inside. In my last year of high school, I had finally found the few people who I'd actually consider as friends (we still are after all these years). They surprised me by decorating the front of my locker with cards and posters from them. It really made my entire day.

This yearning passed on into college, but the problem was that I was in a completely different community. The unfortunate thing with fall birthdays is that by the time you actually get around to making actual friends, it's already the spring semester, and your birthday has gone by without notice. Sure that doesn't necessarily happen to every person, but I am one of those who experienced it. You might wonder why I would hope that people would wish me on my birthday when I haven't made close friends. Despite not having made friends, immediately after meeting people, we have friended each other on facebook. And maybe I hoped that they noticed it was my birthday and would wish me in some way. In little ways, over the next few years, I would get just that. Such as a batch of cupcakes and happy wishes from a few friends, or my favorite, a huge surprise-impromptu-party from my one dance team (in the dressing room before Culture show in fact). All of these little things reminded me that not only have I made a whole host of close friends, but that I do think my birthday is a big deal and that I love when people care enough about me to surprise me with something special (especially when it slips from my mind).

Now, when I say I like people to wish me a happy birthday, I don't mean a post on my facebook wall. In fact, I actually hate it. I know I mentioned facebook as a method of finding someone's birthday, but I don't like to receive wishes in that manner. Why? Because I find it highly impersonal. I appreciate the calls I get or the wishes in person so much more than a post that took two seconds to write. If you're going to do that, why not take the extra 10 seconds to call me instead? Sure, sometimes, you might not be in the position to wish me happy birthday directly. But an email or even a message on facebook would show that you actually were trying and thought of me. I admit, I'm guilty of posting on others' walls on many occasions. But even then, I only post on the walls of people I actually interact with. But when it comes to me, I am a selfish person. So for the one day that celebrates my selfishness, people who know me well enough will know to put that effort in. Maybe I am asking for a lot, especially since I don't like to tell people about my birthday without being asked. It's why I'm a little lenient with wall posts on my birthday. If you do post more than just happy birthday, I respect that effort and show it by responding to it.

So when it comes to celebrating my birthday now, I have reached a few conclusions. The people who really care about me will not only wish me without a reminder, they will try to do something special for me: whether it's being there for everything I plan or if they can't, through other small gestures that make my day. But I also realize that I am not a priority in everyone else's mind, and that my birthday is a special day for me in particular. It is the one day that I can be selfish for myself. So, I take it into my hands to plan a special time for myself. If other people are there to spend that time with me, it only makes it better. Bottom line, I want to make it special. 

In the end what does a birthday celebrate? The day you began to exist as an individual entity in this universe. And hey, if that's not a free pass to be self centered, then what is?

And here's to that special flight on a special day for a special person, by Far East Movement:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RcmKbTR--iA&ob=av2e