Sitting in my living room, I notice that the room is bathed in a bright glow of sun light. All I want to do is head right out and feel the wind and the moving of life around me while soak up up the sun.
Not that it's going to happen.
It's been ages since there was sun, and most of it while I'm stuck in or rushing to work - it doesn't even linger when I finally get to head home.
Darkness, wind chill, freezing my ass off.
So instead of soaking up the sunlight on a relatively free weekend, I'm stuck struggling to force myself to run my errands and chores.
Isn't it great when sunshine suddenly becomes the fucking bane of my day...
And now we return to your regularly scheduled post
In the myriad of close encounters I've had, I'm sure I've mentioned that dating has not been one of them. Sure there might have been something that bordered on becoming that, but it went on its way down another path.
I could say that last week I had my first encounter - if you will - of that nature, but it doesn't seem like it really fits the bill. Sure we'll call it a first date. But somehow it's an incomplete definition.
So of course, I get to deal with all the distracting doubts that dig into my head. But hey, what better way to flush them out than by dumping them out here, right?
*Heads up, it's a soundtrack post! It's been awhile hasn't it ^_^. p.s.: if you can't listen while reading, wait till you can!
But seriously - BEWARE. Below are the ramblings of a highly tipsy individual - though that might be due to the white wine, and we all know what that does to me... well ok me and a certain few individuals might know... but let's save that rambling for below - that is if you dare to attempt to follow the rambling thoughts of a said tipsy individual.
Though there might be some insight - but that's for you to dig for, not for me to clarify. Afterall there is no filter this time.
(There'll be music. On repeat. And you can't stop it. Just a warning ^_^_^_^_^_^_^).
So this post was the easier of the next 2 posts I planned on sharing. Not sure how easy it will be, but I do have (hopefully a more relevant) soundtrack lined up. These of course are hard because they deal with the matters of the heart and a deeper inspection of the more ignored corners of my brain. Though I have an idea of what I plan to write, I have no idea the directions I will end up taking (hopefully nothing too tangential, because I hate rewriting).
This post is the easiest. I knew exactly what I was going to write and how I was going to attack it. But it wasn't, because I was stuck on which song I was going to use. Because each time I thought of a song I enjoy that musically fits the mood, the lyrics really didn't work. They REALLY didn't.
So I decided to suck it up and start writing. And well, that led me straight to the perfect melodies.
It's odd just how much today made me miss being an undergrad. Ok, well maybe not odd - maybe it's more of a "how did I not see that glaringly obvious fact" feeling.
Today was one of those quirks of winter, where the sky was cloudless, the wind a gentle breeze, and the sun was the embrace of a long lost friend. It led to a mutual commiseration with my brother, bemoaning our distance from a college campus.
It's days like this one that all you want to do is soak up the sunlight, letting the breeze cool the harsh rays - the fickle warmth of spring amidst the winter snows. And somehow a university campus feels like it is just made for that kind of quiet observation. As if a park, every where is your bench or cot, any path is yours to stroll - it is being alone but comforted by the passing, indifferent presence of those with their own schedules to follow.
For me it's a time to empty my head, and just recharge on the sunlight. Pop in my iPod, leave behind all my bags at home and either pick a spot, or just follow a snail's pace where ever fancy leads me.
But somehow leaning back in my backyard seemed a cheap imitation - maybe because I missed the sound of the breeze ruffling the leaves or the sound of any kind of life in the background. Or maybe it's because I'm used to having a view :P.
Why didn't I realize I missed these kind of days? I think it may be due to the fact that all the factors that contribute to that feeling come up less frequently, and my need for them is satisfied for a long period post-recharge. And over the last handful of months, I've been going through withdrawal - mentally torturing myself with memories of all the campuses I've done just that.
But when it comes down to it, I'll take what I can get - a chance to soak up sunlight. Maybe it makes me a little sad for settling for the glamorous few of the weed filled hill in my backyard (not that I had to look at it of course - sunglasses plus some shut eye does the trick :P). Maybe it should motivate me to get out of the house and enjoy these days like I really should.
Whatever it is, I guess I'll be as content as a baby (who's full ^_^) as long as I take advantage of the opportunites to soak up some sunshine.
P.S.: Today's songs were a few from today's sun recharge playlist ^_^. The last one is my favorite out of the three, so I hope you listen to them all!
So, recently due to my mother's practice of playing the downstairs audio system while she exercises (since clearly it's too cold or too wet to walk outside these days...), I've gotten the chance to listen to a certain awesome soundtrack from the Tamil movie Rhythm. And I love the music so much, I just wanted to share it and dedicate a post to it ^_^. If you had been following my Song on Repeat, you may have noticed I had already paid tribute to them for a couple of days (they're here on the list), but just to give you the opportunity to listen if you haven't already I have them here for you ^_^.
This first song, is inspired by the element water, and it's one of my two favorites of the soundtrack. I think one of the reasons I like it is that the flow of songs changes and dances along. The mood of the song varies drastically but it all comes together in a great way. Though the highlight to me is the refrain portion (they sing the names of the major rivers in India) with the chorus of female voices. It's just a very compelling harmony ^_^.
*The names of the songs vary so I put the Grooveshark song title in paranthesis.
Kaatre (Kaatrae en Vaasal)
The second track is influenced by the wind. I think this song is a bit silly, especially after seeing the video from the film. Feel free to fast forward this song ^_^ - just kidding :P. This song has it's own great parts, and similar to the first track, I like the portions with the background singers and the instrumental flute melody the best.
Thaniye (Nilamay Poru Nilamay)
This track is the gutsier song representing the earth. Really, when I listen to it, I just feel like breaking it down ^_^. I can't say I have a favorite part of this song, it's all pretty great. I guess you could really classify this song as the "guy" song in the soundtrack. Especially since, back in the day, I do recall that several groups of guys would use this song as music for their dances at programs in the temple when the movie came out. They clearly agree it's a great song to dance too ^_^.
Pathikichu (Aiyo Pathikichu)
This fourth song represents the element of fire. I can safely say it's the "sexy" song of the movie. It's definitely the lowest on my list of favorites. In fact my mom would always forward this song when it was playing because she despised it, or got sick of it. I swear that I don't remember the song past a certain point because I've never listened to the full thing ^_^. If you notice, it's also missing from the Songs on Repeat ^_^.
Gala Gala Vena (Anbay)
The last song takes inspiration from the sky. It's also one of the songs that joins the long list of songs that I've danced to in my grade school days. I do remember this song because there were 3 of us who danced to it, and we represented almost all of South India: each of us being Kannada, Tamil, and Thelugu. It was really a fun dance, especially since we all were great dancers ^_^. But out of all the songs, I love the beat and spritely melody (especially in the main line of the chorus). It's joyous and flirty, and the song just seems to carry you flying into the sky. [Yes, I really like this song, in case you didn't catch that ^_^]
I began writing this more than a month ago, and I am most definitely too lazy to re-edit the introduction.
And this post has a dictated soundtrack, so unless you have the data... no reading on mobile devices :P
And, now you may proceed ^_^
April, May - months that don't really end much, but very much like the nature of spring itself, they are months of many endings and beginnings have happened for me, full of events that have no undo button, locked behind bars in the dungeons of my mind. But like an echo, traces of their presence linger in my memories, to haunt me again and again and again.
And once I turn my mind to past events, visions of altered actions and possibilities of future events race through my mind. Even if I stand up and push away such thoughts, I seem to return to those thoughts with a renewed vigor fueled by recent events, despite every logical fiber of my brain screaming the delusional nature of such futures.
It's like I can't seem to escape the pull of these treacherous dreams. And it makes me wonder, given the fact that I can't seem to escape their orbit, can I really make claim that I have moved on, when I'm still trapped by their gravitational pull?
And that's all folks! Haha... just kidding. I'm actually back - I think. No wait... I'm back ^_^. But really, I'm back home. It's been a really tense last few weeks. So every so often when I'd check back on Eclipsed and see all the page views, I felt a little bubble of joy that people were checking back, whether it was for the song on repeat or just to see if I had posted. Now, to make up for my lack of posting almost this entire month, I have a loooong post for you today, with several songs to along with your reading (please forgive any errors, it was a long one to write and edit). Just as a warning, it is a long post, but I hope that you'll keep reading to the end (no matter how many attempts it takes =D)! I think I'm probably collapsing several posts into one here, but since it's been a few weeks since my last legitimate post, it'll be worth it ^_^.
I realized that the fact that I'm at home makes it seem like what happened over Thanksgiving may just happen again (the whole I will post, but never actually posting). But I have hopes that it won't. For unlike over Thanksgiving break, not only I am back home for longer than a week, I also don't have to do 3 loads of laundry, make an elaborate meal, sleep entire days to recover from classes, or really any of the general chaos that usually happens when I'm back at home for a week.
The only unfortunate fact of this "break" back home is that I have to re-assimilate my entire wardrobe and life into my room at home... And with the number of shoes I've accumulated over the past 2 years, it's most definitely going to be a daunting task. I don't think I quite understood the challenge until I realized that my mother's shoes are EVERYWHERE. Literally: they're on all the shelves, all over the floor, in every closet, even in the guest bedroom! Ok, so side track - I will most definitely love talking about shoes at another time, after all I'm quite addicted. But I already planned for this to be a lengthy post, so I should stop this tangent... Right... about... now. ^_^
So back to my earlier point. Being at home now is most definitely not going to prevent me from posting, simply because I won't be worked to the bone quite like before. Though I'll have to somehow manage to return to the mentality of "working" at home. Given that college was out of town, I built a connection between home and not-working. So now I need to revert to my high-school days where I actually did work at home (the little that I needed to do), to gear up and get the rest of my life in order. Like my mother famously loves to tell me, "The future is here now. You're already late." Not quite the motivational line, but it definitely gets the point across. As does the reminder of the financial burden I place on my parents (they're only getting older, the retirement funds are being used). Their constant complaint: why can't I at least get into a graduate program of some sort or even a job to relieve the burden of their worries for my future just a bit? But recently, the largest obstacle I need to overcome, to move on with my life, is the past (cliche I know >.>).
Every once in a while, I encounter a longing for something that amazes me and boggles my mind. Something mystic and foreign, that somehow resonates with me - something quite like a Celtic Dream(this link is the song to read the post with ^_^).
December 16th. It is coming. Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows will be in theaters! I cannot even start to explain how excited I am for this movie to come out.
But before I delve into my raving rants on how much I adore Sherlock Holmes, I would like to thank all of the people who have been reading my blog till now. It means a lot to me that I already have 4 official followers and 700 page views! So I'd like to thank you all for your time and for reading my random thoughts and musings on some of the most odd-ball subjects ^_^.
And now, shall we return to the subject at hand? I do believe I will proceed in such a manner. But before I do, a song to inspire you through this post: http://www.youtube.com/watchv=rpBHn6RfY0k&feature=channel_video_title (I suggest you listen to it as you read, and when I say suggest, I mean that you absolutely must ^_^)