Curious

Hi.

Sometimes I just wonder. And sometimes I am in wonder. I mean think about it, how long did it take to go from a single cell organism to a microscopic organism, to finally get all the way to something the size of the blue whale? Or from the small organism to something so crafty as the cephalopod?

And then you realize that we are now speeding the forces that evolve the environment of the planet, at a rate that would have normally introduced newer species, but instead is outpacing the rate of evolution, and I think again to the beginning and how fast that evolution takes.

And when we discover new environments that hold species of these single cell organisms I wonder - how long would it take for a more complex organism to evolve from these little guys?

Then I think about how once a single cell organism evolves into a multi-cellular organism, the multi-cellular organism more often than not feeds on the single cell organism... and I remember that nature is quite harsh.

Dude. Seriously.

Anywho... Listen HERE.

We live on a floating shell

Hi.

Hello.

Hi.

During the hours I spend at work in front of a system just taking measurements or doing repetitive analysis, I had started to get very annoyed at any and every station of music I'd been listening to. Then, realizing that I have been slacking on keeping up to date with the piling lists of podcasts on my computer ('Wait wait don't tell me', 'Science Friday audio', 'Science Friday video'... yes there clearly is a theme), I figured that I could use that time catching up. And since I was catching up, I figured I might as well share the ones that catch my attention in the mean time.

Of course sometimes I can't listen to podcasts, because I need to use my brain for what I'm working on... sometimes I can't multitask... it's horribly sad, and obviously a sign of a decaying mind... sigh...

Regardless, here's the first for you all to enjoy

Listen HERE

(in case you're wondering how long I've not kept up to date, well, let's just say the dates correlate to late 2012... in my defense, I was a lot better with the videos - until I wasn't obviously)

All that's left is to accept it

Hi.

I realized that just after posting my awesome list of what I want to read, I ended up uncovering another series that my brother uploaded, and furiously started reading it... only to discover that he not only hadn't uploaded all the books released so far but the series isn't even complete... as if I need another series to run around after... (if you are curious, it is the Godstalker Chronicles - a very good read in my opinion, I just wish I could read it to the end... though some books you never want end... sigh, ok I'm getting extremely side-tracked here)

Hmm, let's see... now how do I start this without making it seem like I want pity...

Just a yearning

I find myself drawn towards that smile. It's like I'm willing to do anything for it. I want to be the source of that smile, be it through wit, joy, or frivolity. It pulls at me inside, but I don't know why. This can't be appropriate. 

I want to be its focus - the sun to its planet. I want to bask in its warmth, like sunshine after weeks of stormy skies, and burrow into its cozy heat.

I think I've been down the this road before, and I shouldn't be misled - no, drawn in - again. This is no lurid confession.

It's a symptom of an underlying condition.

It's just a yearning.

Just a yearning.

Worming through

Hi.

I need to go out dancing. I can feel it. But I have priorities, i.e. leisure reading. Seriously.

A side note: I realize, that I really must update my current music playlists - I feel tired of quite a few songs on my latest playlist. But there's only 12 songs so far (I usually build up to 25-30 songs), and there are still a few songs I'd like to carry over. Usually, I like to leave those be - since I invariably get tired of them sooner than the rest. Even if I carry them over to the newer list, I don't like the fact that they're in 2 playlists. Don't ask, I just don't like it. And then there's a part of me that realizes that I'd be on my 13th playlist, and well, that's a lot of playlists on top of the rest of them... But I needs my new songs man... I needs them...

So if you care to provide an opinion, don't be shy.

Now onto the post.

New Vibes

Hellllllllllllllllllllllllooooooooooooooooooo!

It's been like - like ages! Hahaha. Well, I've been itching to get things restarted, in part because I realize I should give what I've been doing the past year the attention it deserves, and well, I have more shoes ^_^. Though before we move on, I'd like to take a moment of silence to honor the dearly departed:

Sigh... it's so beautiful... I wish you were in my budget... seen and gone in a day... ok, I need to get over these shoes and another pair I found last week...

So, right. Onto the words.

Blah blah blah

Beware.

Hi.

But seriously - BEWARE. Below are the ramblings of a highly tipsy individual - though that might be due to the white wine, and we all know what that does to me... well ok me and a certain few individuals might know... but let's save that rambling for below - that is if you dare to attempt to follow the rambling thoughts of a said tipsy individual.

Though there might be some insight - but that's for you to dig for, not for me to clarify. Afterall there is no filter this time.

(There'll be music. On repeat. And you can't stop it. Just a warning ^_^_^_^_^_^_^).

Emotional Shit

Hi.

So as promised, here is the post I had meant to write probably a week ago. But it's still in the month of August so I say I'm still in the clear.

Anyways, I figure it's time to have a straight talk about my body. Specifically changes in said body (and mind), that have given me quite some pause.

Seriously, I think I can cry on command.

Celebrate!

Hi.

THE SHOES ARE COMPLETELY UPDATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Basically I got off my lazy ass, took the rest of the pictures, gathered the rest of the data, and posted them all. So just follow the neon green "new" signs to find the latest updates!
[Let me know if you think it's a good method for indicating the newest additions to the collection!]

And for those of you waiting for another serious post, I do see plans for another this month, and maybe even a few more :D.

Bounce baby bounce

Hi.

So, dancing makes people feel happy... Huh. Who woulda thunk? ^_^

Summer cleaning

Hi.

So it finally happened. We cleared out the shoes in the garage. Meaning, all un-used, dust collecting pairs of shoes were removed for disposal or donation. And though all of my shoes did not necessarily fit into the space not taken up by my mother's shoes, I am pleased to announce that now all of my shoes are where shoes should belong - i.e. not sitting under my closet or rusticating in the remains of my belongings while living on my own. (Though this is not including the shoes I keep in my closet because they are precious little things that should never be exposed to the harsh climate of the garage).

By the way, our shoe closet looks kinda amazing now.

I might just take a picture to show you.

But that's not the best thing either.
I've finished posting all the shoes I had cataloged waaaaaaaay back when I first updated Shoes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(All the quick links are actually links!)

Yes, it is a momentous day it is.

Now all that's left is to catalog and post the shoes I bought in that time... Which shouldn't be too many really...... At least I don't think so...

But moving on... in other news, I've been a bit of a crocheting demon. I might want to brag and share a bit. I might even be cocky enough to say I might actually end up working on and finishing one of my oldest projects... fingers crossed!

And cuz I want to share it, here's a cute little song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmSbXsFE3l8

Rekindled

Hi.

Hey-lo my dears. After so many months of boring dull humdrum, things are getting a little exciting. Not only do I have an opportunity to dance again (for the special 4th of July weekend pujas) but I've also been asked to play the piano accompaniment for a groom's reception serenade!

I mean, of course there's practice to be done (including hours of finger exercises ahead), but I'm really excited!

Now I just have to sit tight and get ready for full speed ahead tomorrow morning... Or maybe take an early start - 1am sounds good to me :P.

Ahhhhhhh so excited!!!!!

A realize of the past

Hi.

I wrote this a while back, when I was trying to figure out how to describe my feelings about a relationship. I can say that I remember the sentiment I was writing with, but I can also say for sure that I would no longer take this sort of kind or considerate approach. Maybe it's the way things happened after it ended that gave me perspective.

But what I did like about this piece is the way I am reminded of the giddy blush of a deliciously wonderful feeling of being precious. It's probably what made me take the path I ended up moving down. Honestly I miss it. I know he's not the one who's meant to give it to me. Yet, having experienced it, I don't think I'll be satisfied with a relationship devoid of it. (Of course I won't get into the cynical mutterings of my darker self that mutters on about how I may have to settle for something less than that, but hey this post isn't one to think about that).

So I hope you enjoy this little excerpt of what was to be the second segment of a ridiculously long "two in one" post.

Realize 3.0

Hi.

Just click to read. I really have no patience for an introduction.

A heads up: music will load/play upon opening this post, and the controls are not readily accessed.

Realize 2.0

Hi.

So this post was the easier of the next 2 posts I planned on sharing. Not sure how easy it will be, but I do have (hopefully a more relevant) soundtrack lined up. These of course are hard because they deal with the matters of the heart and a deeper inspection of the more ignored corners of my brain. Though I have an idea of what I plan to write, I have no idea the directions I will end up taking (hopefully nothing too tangential, because I hate rewriting).

Realize 1.0

Hi.

This post is the easiest. I knew exactly what I was going to write and how I was going to attack it. But it wasn't, because I was stuck on which song I was going to use. Because each time I thought of a song I enjoy that musically fits the mood, the lyrics really didn't work. They REALLY didn't.

So I decided to suck it up and start writing. And well, that led me straight to the perfect melodies.

Question mark?

Hi.

So here's the deal, I know I will be posting about my "conclusions" for your reading pleasure, but I had a question for you all as to how I should present them.

Would you like me to post each conclusion as I finish writing them, or would you like them all in one long haul?

Comment and let me know!

Realize

Hi.

There come moments in your life when you reach conclusions that affect your sense of the world - your sense of your own being. You can call them epiphanies, and on occasion I might agree with you.

But what I refer to are the thoughts that bring you to certain crossroads, whereupon you find satisfaction or strive to gain it. These aren't necessarily major life decisions. It could be the actual enactment of a resolution to say change your wardrobe or to hold to a dietary guideline. It could also be realizing that you are truly happy without a high ranked job position or the recognition of what you truly believe in.

I think it is freeing.

Our brains are very astonishing organs, and have the capacity for multitasking that we probably never think to realize - probably because we end up thinking so much in general (not that we necessarily think upon profound philosophy and research). But when we reach one of those conclusions, it almost seems as though we have collected and unified thousands of insignificant thoughts and observations into a single bodied summation. By doing so, we are relieving our brains of the strain caused by having such thoughts occurring regularly.

In the same way, any actions we take also relieve that strain. Sure physiologically, actions are achieved through "labor" which requires the effort of the muscles and so releases hormones that soothe the neurons. But I mean actions are relieving because an action is a way of manifesting our thoughts, or transmitting them into the external world. And by doing so, we are removing the "weight" of them from our minds.

Therefore, through either method, we are able to reach a calm or balance within the realm of our minds.

Of course there is nothing scientific about these conjectures - in fact I could simply have forced this theory by fitting the supporting arguments to suit my need. After all this is my own understanding (having come to certain conclusions of my own), and you are all so kind to even acknowledge their existence (in case you missed it, I am saying thank you for reading, I appreciate it).

But I have no doubt that what ever conclusions or resolutions have occurred, I do note that a sense of relief. After all, they do say that stress affects the body's physiology, and any decrease in the harmful brand is only a good thing. And though the manifestations of stress can be observed, how stress affects them is a complex and not very well understood mechanism (it's not as if the complexities of stress we experience in our lives can be simply observed in an experimental setting - there are too many variables!).

So until the time when stress can be quantified and qualified, I shall remain happy with my theory. Because in the end, me being happy with this theory means I am more inclined to share, and in this case, it definitely means sharing my own conclusions. And this little blurb here, is my wonderfully long segue into those.

Obviously though, there is more than one, and as it is, I am currently reaching the end of a series of thoughts. So as you might guess, these conclusions will appear in a separate post. But fear not, you will know them when you see them, and this time I won't lead you on with a second attempt at introduction. You'll just get it raw ^_^.


So anyways, too-da-loo for now. I'll leave you with a cheesy sorta song, which really just has a keyword in its title, but hey feel free to make inferences on how the lyrics might be applied to the content of this post (I might already be... argh, my brain...). Tschuss!

P.S.: I might actually be in the mood to write thanks to having just finished reading The Mistborn trilogy by Brandon Sanderson. An integral part of the text is a repeating motif of biographic writings - journals or personal diaries if you will - all with a prophetic kind of voice to them, as they believed or came to understand their own martyr-like roles. It's a great series, and I definitely recommend it as an awesome read.

Glued to the Tube

Hi.

Aite. This post needs to be written. There has been occasion upon occasion for me to write this but I just haven't had the patience or really any clear idea of how I planned on organizing this post.

So let's see, the last few landmarks that could have been used as alternative introductions... Well there was the "winter premiere" of the USA network shows back in January (you know, when the rest of the popular broadcasting companies like ABC, NBC, and CBS had a huge hiatus on all their fall shows). Then there was the time I watched all 3 seasons of Downton Abbey - though it was interesting that I didn't realize that the Christmas specials were actually bridges between the seasons at first... (I actually made an effort to write an intro for this, you can find that introduction at the end). Then of course there was the premiere of one of my favorite USA network shows, Psych.

But of course as you know, these all have gone by, so what encouraged me to finally make the effort? Well, rewatching the entirety of Veronica Mars. And considering how much time I shouldn't have on my hands to make that happen, well I guess should consider talking about it? ^_^

Nostalgia

Hi.

Just press play! ^_^

It's odd just how much today made me miss being an undergrad. Ok, well maybe not odd - maybe it's more of a "how did I not see that glaringly obvious fact" feeling.

Today was one of those quirks of winter, where the sky was cloudless, the wind a gentle breeze, and the sun was the embrace of a long lost friend. It led to a mutual commiseration with my brother, bemoaning our distance from a college campus.

It's days like this one that all you want to do is soak up the sunlight, letting the breeze cool the harsh rays - the fickle warmth of spring amidst the winter snows. And somehow a university campus feels like it is just made for that kind of quiet observation. As if a park, every where is your bench or cot, any path is yours to stroll - it is being alone but comforted by the passing, indifferent presence of those with their own schedules to follow.

For me it's a time to empty my head, and just recharge on the sunlight. Pop in my iPod, leave behind all my bags at home and either pick a spot, or just follow a snail's pace where ever fancy leads me.

But somehow leaning back in my backyard seemed a cheap imitation - maybe because I missed the sound of the breeze ruffling the leaves or the sound of any kind of life in the background. Or maybe it's because I'm used to having a view :P.

Why didn't I realize I missed these kind of days? I think it may be due to the fact that all the factors that contribute to that feeling come up less frequently, and my need for them is satisfied for a long period post-recharge. And over the last handful of months, I've been going through withdrawal - mentally torturing myself with memories of all the campuses I've done just that.

But when it comes down to it, I'll take what I can get - a chance to soak up sunlight. Maybe it makes me a little sad for settling for the glamorous few of the weed filled hill in my backyard (not that I had to look at it of course - sunglasses plus some shut eye does the trick :P). Maybe it should motivate me to get out of the house and enjoy these days like I really should.

Whatever it is, I guess I'll be as content as a baby (who's full ^_^) as long as I take advantage of the opportunites to soak up some sunshine.


P.S.: Today's songs were a few from today's sun recharge playlist ^_^. The last one is my favorite out of the three, so I hope you listen to them all!

Nerdy delites

Hi.

So I had to share this - it's just a really cool article on a different kind of inspiration for art ^_^

Petri Culture

The Big Gulp

Hi.

So the past week's SciFri video actually freaked me out more than impressed me. I mean there was some science to it, that was a bit interesting. But the actually subject of the episode was on the immediate repulsion list >.> .

Anyways, I decided to jump back into the past videos to something much more enjoyable. As you know, I have been going through the older videos. I probably wouldn't have noticed these normally, but because I was shuffling through the videos and browsing the titles, I came across two very similar videos talking about, well, very large eaters.

  

Pack of Rats

Hi.

As I survey the damage that is the state of our basement, I wonder - how they hell did we have that much stuff? I mean, we've barely cleaned out half of the closet and thrown out the trash we wish to dispose of, and  it already covers a third of our basement. [Ok, so I'm not eager to share square footage here, so you'll know what I mean if you've seen my basement.]

And the reason? Well, this storage contains items that have been kept since we moved into the house. And this is after an initial reduction when our basement was re-done. So why do we have so much stuff? Well, I'm guessing it's cuz we're a little crazy with the saving for just in case business :P.

Artfully Programmed

Hi.

Ok. So this last video from Science Friday didn't really pique any real interest or thoughts, but I just thought it was a little quirky and well, I guess I'm really posting it as a sharing method for my friend Codeduck.

Like I mentioned, I'm not really intrigued by this, I just thought it was cool that this artistic display was integrated with programming. It's kinda neat that the animated doll is moved using a sensor that monitors movement in 4 quadrants. And the histogram of the amount of movement controls how much a certain body part of the doll will move (of course the actual movements are not being controlled, but I guess they weren't going that far).

But aside from that, I mean, how do you get into this field of art? I didn't even know it was considered a separate category... Anyways just a look at me sorta video :P

Animated Love

Hi.

So I guess in a way of a late V-day sorta thing, I found this digital short from Disney. It's romantic. Hence the kinda V-day part. And you should watch it. It's absolutely cute and sweet.

Ok. So now that you have watched it - well, I will proceed on the assumption you have... - I have to say aside from the plot line, music, artwork, etc, this digital short reminds me, that I will probably never, ever stop watching animation.

I mean, animation has the ability to capture the hearts of people all ages. And it's not just the movies, whether new or old. There are also the cartoons we watched growing up (ok, remember I am not talking about the current ones, I am fondly remembering things like the original Looney Tunes - the classics). You could even throw in comics like Calvin and Hobbes.

And the reason is, there is a way that they stimulate the correlating level of mental and emotional maturities of the viewers. Maybe it's the memories of childhood, or maybe it's just because I'm a little bit of a kid inside. But whatever the reason, I know I'll still be watching animation till I'm a little old crone ^_^.


Oh and P.S.: Codeduck, at least I'm posting, even if it's about posting, unlike someone... :P

Hooked

Hi.

Ok, so part of the introduction I wrote here had its thunder stolen by my last post, and well, I hate to be redundant, so I'll just dive right in since you know all the background... Aite, so on the very first day of step 1 of this entire process, I uncovered an interesting bundle of goods.

Now, I'm not sure if I explained how I got into crocheting in the first place, but in case I have not, a quick recap:

As a young girl I had interest in the needle arts, but was soon disheartened after the tribulations of a first attempt to learn the craft of knitting (the number of stitches kept increasing, the yarn I was using got knotted in the skein and I couldn't work further, plus a whole load of other things). But that desire to learn had not quite died in my soul.

Running late to a homework session, I came upon my partner packing away a skein of yarn and a work in progress. In that instant, I could see my desire being fulfilled, and dove head into the world of crocheting. And lo and behold, to aid me in that journey, the woman who gave me life, gave me the tools of this practical and artistic trade: a how to crochet beginners kit, complete with needles and accessories, and a skein of worsted weighted yarn.

Ok, flashback complete. Anyway, back to the present.

Spring Cleaning

Hi.

So recently (like 4 days ago) my mother announced her plan to clear out the basement storage. Now, that doesn't sound too bad, it'll probably be just a bit of sorting through items and reorganizing the remaining items - simple.

But no. This closet is a walk-in space, roughly the size of a large dorm room, with shelves built along the walls, big enough to hold suitcases. And they go so high that even our step stool might not be enough to reach the back of the top rows.

So, this, is not a little bit of spring cleaning. It is a gargantuan endeavor. Maybe that's why we're starting so early... We can only hope to be done by spring. :P

And as I sorted through the things that were out of sight, and therefore, out of mind, I found myself discovering and rediscovering myself, my parents, and a few other things here and there. [Ok, that was a really deep/profound kind of statement, but I don't intend it to be... it raises expectations :P]

And of course, as I start to think, there is of course that urge to write. At first it started with one little episode I wanted to share. And then as I sat down, I realized there is more than one story - more than one group of little tangents that occur to me that can't be defined under one title, one heading. Well ok, technically it can be under one title. I could keep this title of "Spring Cleaning" and have several mini posts with individual titles within this post (like a certain post that I've been working on). But here's the thing. I'm too impatient to wait long enough to get all the stories out and post them all at once, or to post them in little chunks. Ok, wait, that actually might be a good idea...

Right. So, in light of the fact that I get impatient and want to post what I've written the minute I'm done writing it, for now, I'll just be posting things individually (basically I could have the first little post almost ready to put in along with this one, but I don't have the patience to wait to finish writing it and postpone posting this one). But in the future I may chose to group a few together and put them up. [Let's just leave room for any potential option shall we?]

Anyway, now that I've succeeded in making this several sentences too long, thanks to my side commentary... I finally conclude my introduction to the new series of posts born from the efforts of a little spring cleaning.

Individual

Hi.

I just wrote a post about standing out from the crowd, and it got me to thinking, what do I do to portray individuality?

Crowded

Hi.

So odd thing this week - there is no new video post on Science Friday - so I thought I'd post on an older one. But after checking out the site, I found a short video, a "snack", from Thursday:

It seems that for once following the crowd is a good thing. Of course following the majority isn't always right, but there is a sense of safety that does come from following everyone else. There are tons of historic examples where people do the wrong thing because it means that they won't stand out (like the fish do when in lighted areas) - which means they will live for another day in peace.

Just like these fish, there is a higher chance of survival when sticking with the majority, because in many ways going out on your own means you have no guidance and makes you a target for all kinds of predators. But those people are kind of amazing. [Big picture: underground railroad, those who helped hide Jews during the Holocaust; Smaller picture: geniuses whose ingenuity leads to amazing progress and fun things to play with, rock stars]

But it's not easy.

If you think about it, we are told all of our lives to stand out, make an impression, be unique - all in pursuit of snagging an interview, acceptances to higher education institutions, promotions, honors - even finding the person you'll spend the rest of your life with. It's because that first bang of individuality makes a lasting impression.

But being unique or different isn't accepted easily. For example, I know a lot of Indian families that came to the US during the Cold War, when different was bad - different meant the enemy. And many of these people changed their names, let go of traditions and culture to be more American. Even for me, bringing packed lunches filled with Indian food was a chore. I'd never be able to eat without at least one person asking me what I was eating, followed by the comment, "Ew." It was only until later in high school that a select few people were actually interested enough to even want to try and enjoy the food (personally, I say that's because of education and maturity - but that doesn't necessarily help).

The thing is, being different takes guts. You need to have the confidence to look and act in a manner that is novel. It takes confidence to put a unique personality out there. You can't be afraid of the judgments of others.

I think the basic part of being unique is just being able to wear your character on the outside. If you think about it, we all are different even though some people try to be the same - we are different (I refuse to go into the whole different experiences lead to different people thing... Ok, I did a little but that's it.). And part of wearing your character on the outside is being confident in yourself. The easiest way to do so is through your appearance (mind you, flashy doesn't mean unique - unless you are a flashy character ^_^).

Unfortunately, we are constrained by society. We are not all afforded the luxury of isolation - we have to cater to interviewers, the law, and our relations. We are held to standards of the acceptable and appropriate. Our ability to be different sometimes is only allowed to shine if it is within those boundaries. Of course I'm not saying that it can't - but you seem to ultimately face the consequences, be what they may.

It's as if most of society accepts different as long as it stays within bounds. It is a paradox that society lives in: you can be unique as long as you are basically the same.

And the irony of everyone being a unique character is that well, if everyone is "unique", then in the end, no one is. It's like being unique is following the crowd. Who'da thunk? Maybe we all are really just fish stuck in schools.

More shoe?

Hi.

Due to the interesting coincidence that all my friends have gone on lovely ski/snowboarding trips, and are pretty much incommunicado, I was bored, at home, and stuck with nothing to do.

I tried my hand at gaming, crocheting, reading, eating - but nothing really stuck. So well, I finished updating another section of Shoes!!! [I didn't finish all the retired ones... I was getting impatient, and I had just finished the retired for the Flats before starting on the Heels.]

So, there! Take that people who were stuck on a mountain with nothing to do in all that snow... Ok, I'm still incredibly jealous... I wanna go snowboarding..... T.T

Ok, well updated the shoe inventory, but didn't actually write a new post - meh - just look at it already...

Lovely

Hi.

I think I found my song. Not just a song on repeat - but MY song.
You might guess who it's by if you know me. It isn't one of those obscure bands/singers kinda thing - though maybe it is ^_^.
It has everything that makes is a me song.

And well, if that's a good enough answer for you,

or you're not patient enough to wait for the song,

(I sympathize, cuz I thought I would just  post the first part),

click here to go straight to the song.

But for the rest of you, please excuse this interruption, and read on ^_^.

So, where was I? Ah yes, everything for a me song...

Perception

Hi.

So I guess in an effort to avoid doing work that I need to, I have decided to amaze you with another wonderful post mere days after my previous post. This video is a bit along the lines of the last one - in the sense that it's quite the illusion ^_^.

I wouldn't say this video was as astounding as the last one in terms of the wow factor. But it definitely has a mind boggling factor.

It's more like it's hard to wrap your mind around the way that gravity can be distorted here. And it's like what we perceive - what we assume is right based on our perception of the world - is just wrong.

Missed the chance

Hi

Here's the deal. I've felt a little MIA and a reason for that is that I've had a whole lot of songs that were my jam at some point over the last few weeks, but I haven't put them up as a Song on Repeat. So, I'm taking this time to just give those songs the little bit of attention - you know, time in the lime light - Since I didn't get the chance before.

So without ado, ladies and gentlefolk, the songs that just want to be heard, in particular order of greatness or weakness:

Badass

Hi.

So it feels like it's been a while. And well I feel like I haven't kept up with my agenda since last week. I do have some pet posts I'm working on, but for some reason I've been feeling too antsy to commit the time and patience to fully write anything.

But I have been watching Science Friday (not quite so good with the audio versions yet) and I wanted to share an older one that I found when I first explored the archive of videos. And man, is it badass.


In case you're lost, double tap or single tap to play/pause these videos

Now of course, you could just watch this, be amazed, and move on with your life. Or you could continue on to read what I thought about it ^_^.

Plans and Stars

Hi

Recently, I came across a new and exciting series of intellectual discussions and reveals. They are the Science Friday series by NPR (national public radio). Every Friday, instead of Market Place, Ira Flatow hosts this show, as a foray into the world of science - from quantum mechanics to cooking, outer space to insects.

In addition, there is also a weekly video post hosted by Flora Lichtman (she occasionally shows up on the radio show too). They add a visual factor to these sneak peaks at the nifty, sciencey, geeky things that exist in the world around us. On occasion the topics overlap with the radio episodes, and sometimes the things you see just blow your mind (or at least they blew mine :P).

I ended up enjoying them so much, that I have downloaded the podcasts and followed them via RSS feed. And I am currently working my way backwards through the episodes - though they go back to 2007, so it might take a while to get through them all...

But the great part is that, unlike current event shows (like Wait wait don't tell me), the older shows won't lose my interest in the fast moving world we live in - science is forever... Well, at least it's interesting forever ^_^.

I guess what I enjoy, is that I not only feel smart when they talk about the things I know, but it's like they found the coolest things that are in our universe, and give you a glimpse of just how science is basically everywhere and makes everything work. And to the nerd in me, well, it's quite heavenly.

So I've decided that I'd like to share these with you (the first of which is continued later in the post). Sure, I could post one a week, with each weekly release. But that might not happen. I'm more keen on sharing the ones that make me excited or get me to think. And with me going through the past episodes, I can't confirm my frequency of posting. But I will definitely be trying to regularly post something, just for my own sake :D.

But before you continue reading, there are a few updates I'd like to mention. I have added another segment to my visual archive of shoes. I have also decided to no longer end my little scratches with a line. The purpose of the line was for my previous arrangement of the little scratches - and well since I don't use that format, the line has no real use other than to make me do more work.

Anyway, onto the first installment of my takes on Science Friday.

Here we go again

Hi.

Happy New Year folks. It's barely the second day of the year and it's already back to the same routine of mulling through each day trying to get things done. This is the real world folks, not the pretend one we live in as students - there are no month long breaks or set days for work.

The time comes again for evaluating the progress of one's life and voicing the suppressed worries about idling with nothing to do. And also the time to silently listen and bear the voices, no matter how punishing.

And yet amidst the drone of everyday nonsense and bad judgments, There are little things that still make me happy - learning of someone's budding crush - being reminded that someone's thinking of you.

So here's to a brand new year (with maybe a little less procrastination) - whether it be dreary or exciting, let it be awesome.

---

Hi.

Thoughts from a silent, snowed in corner

Sitting in my corner, watching the snow outside, hearing the silence, I find no one to break the quiet. Different time schedules, things to do, people to meet, work to muddle through. It feels lonely. I feel useless. Maybe because there are things I could be doing, projects I could pick up, exercise to wake me up, planning for my future.

A common feeling returns like it always does, a yearning for the proximity of comrades, the signs of other intelligent life, the laughter that is the mark of our friendships. And yet, the presence of any of it seems to cast a pensive blanket over my mind - for at the end I'm to return to the silence - I can't help but hate that forecast.

And as I look out at the picturesque clumps of water crystals tumbling and floating to the ground, I wonder if maybe that makes it worse - how do you enjoy the snow on your own, when the only feedback is a world that has gone to sleep?

It slows me down, piling on like layers of snow, and it seems like my only outlet to the outside world is through the screen of my laptop. And yet even now, that doesn't seem to help. Nothing seems to fill this void.

So here I still sit, bundled in layers, yet freezing, staring at the white of my screen and the world, waiting for someone - anyone - to call me out from this silence.

---

One without the other

Hi.

While reaching the end of an awesome lineup for the Kennedy Center Honors, the speaker for Led Zeppelin, Jack Black, spoke a witty line:

"[They say that they sold their souls to the devil, but that's ok]. For while you spend eternity in hell, we will be listening to your heavenly music till the end of time."

The thought that came to me was literally, considering the back and forth between God and the Devil who was fucking who? I mean, think about it, on the one hand you have devilish talent, that creates something heavenly (aka God fucking Devil). And on the other, you have heavenly music that's created by something devilish (aka Devil fucking God).

But the thought immediately following, is that are they really fucking each other? Or are they just fucking themselves? 'Cuz without that kind of great talent, you could never create such amazing music. And if the music wasn't considered so amazing, would people even consider the talent so great, that it could have only come from souls being sold to the devil?

It's like basically without one aspect or side, the other would never have gotten the credit in the first place. It's almost as if one could not exist without the other - that only when placed in such contrast does either shine - as if it is necessary for both heaven and hell to mingle to create bliss.

And then it leads me further: considering you wouldn't be able to stay in heaven if you made a contract with the devil, and heavenly music has no place in hell - you can see that the only place that is viable to combine the two aspects is on earth. Which makes you think, maybe paradise isn't necessarily in heaven, but here on earth.

Well, I'd say it's something to think about :P (And here's some of that awesome-ness to share ^_^).

---

Shoe Update!

Hi.

So exciting news folks. Do you remember that time I said I was going to inventory my entire collection of shoes? Well, that time has finally arrived! I finally managed to get over my procrastination photograph every shoe in my possession.

The updates might be a little slow, but I'll try to go in sections so that each time I update, the newest additions will have a new hot link created in the menu. Check it out!

And when I say "check it out", there really only one voice that screams it in my head:

---

Word.

Hi.

I realized lately that I've been missing something. I've missed writing. The simple gush of words that tumble out faster than your hands can form. There is something romantic about sending someone your thoughts in this simple form. You don't know what they think as they read the letters and emails and blogs you write. But it's somehow an intimate interaction [I do not refer to the thousands of business and spam emails you get - this is more of a social communication where you share with the receiver].

More than speaking to someone, writing to me requires that extra bit of effort and brains to transmit your thoughts to another. And what is pretty neat is that when you get a card, you know that they were thinking of you the entire time they spent writing.

So despite the whole rush to be more efficient, higher speed and output with a decreased input, I simply love that antique interaction of writing to each other (though the speed of email is a convenience I do enjoy).

So maybe sometime, you'll consider sitting down and take sometime to write a long winded message to someone, and who knows, they might even write back ^_^.

P.S.: Cheers to my lovely Codeduck who has decided to share her experiences with the written word, or should I say code ^_^

Do you wanna buy a duck?

---

Ripped Out

Hi.

Breathe.

In.
Out.

There is no sound. So breathe. Listen.

In.
Out.

It's so cold, it's numb. So breathe. Feel.

In.
Out.

A plug was pulled. There is no current.

In.
Out.

It needs a restart. No paddles. Please.

Oxygenate.
Pump.
Breathe.

Just Breathe.

---

Bond-ed

Hi.

There is a bond that brings my family together. A bond that has the strength of 50 years. One that is re-vowed  in the autumn month of November. It is reaffirmed by bloodshed and honor and intelligence. It takes us to places we've never gone before, brings us the thrill of danger that makes us feel alive. It's shaken, not stirred.

It's that double-O kinda bond.

Elemental

Hi.

So, recently due to my mother's practice of playing the downstairs audio system while she exercises (since clearly it's too cold or too wet to walk outside these days...), I've gotten the chance to listen to a certain awesome soundtrack from the Tamil movie Rhythm. And I love the music so much, I just wanted to share it and dedicate a post to it ^_^. If you had been following my Song on Repeat, you may have noticed I had already paid tribute to them for a couple of days (they're here on the list), but just to give you the opportunity to listen if you haven't already I have them here for you ^_^.

Don't forget to press play!

Nadiye (Nathiyae Nathiyae)*

This first song, is inspired by the element water, and it's one of my two favorites of the soundtrack. I think one of the reasons I like it is that the flow of songs changes and dances along. The mood of the song varies drastically but it all comes together in a great way. Though the highlight to me is the refrain portion (they sing the names of the major rivers in India) with the chorus of female voices. It's just a very compelling harmony ^_^.

*The names of the songs vary so I  put the Grooveshark song title in paranthesis.

Kaatre (Kaatrae en Vaasal)

The second track is influenced by the wind. I think this song is a bit silly, especially after seeing the video from the film. Feel free to fast forward this song ^_^ - just kidding :P. This song has it's own great parts, and similar to the first track, I like the portions with the background singers and the instrumental flute melody the best.

Thaniye (Nilamay Poru Nilamay)

This track is the gutsier song representing the earth. Really, when I listen to it, I just feel like breaking it down ^_^. I can't say I have a favorite part of this song, it's all pretty great. I guess you could really classify this song as the "guy" song in the soundtrack. Especially since, back in the day, I do recall that several groups of guys would use this song as music for their dances at programs in the temple when the movie came out. They clearly agree it's a great song to dance too ^_^.

Pathikichu (Aiyo Pathikichu)

This fourth song represents the element of fire. I can safely say it's the "sexy" song of the movie. It's definitely the lowest on my list of favorites. In fact my mom would always forward this song when it was playing because she despised it, or got sick of it. I swear that I don't remember the song past a certain point because I've never listened to the full thing ^_^. If you notice, it's also missing from the Songs on Repeat ^_^.

Gala Gala Vena (Anbay)

The last song takes inspiration from the sky. It's also one of the songs that joins the long list of songs that I've danced to in my grade school days. I do remember this song because there were 3 of us who danced to it, and we represented almost all of South India: each of us being Kannada, Tamil, and Thelugu. It was really a fun dance, especially since we all were great dancers ^_^. But out of all the songs, I love the beat and spritely melody (especially in the main line of the chorus). It's joyous and flirty, and the song just seems to carry you flying into the sky. [Yes, I really like this song, in case you didn't catch that ^_^]

<(°v°)>

---

Fall no more

Hi.

I think I'm heartbroken. Absolutively, positutely, heartbroken. Where did you go?

Old Biddy* again?

Hi.

So my mother has been on a mission to replace the permanent flower arrangements and so we've been to Pat Catan's several times browsing through aisles of fake flowers (there was even a trip to Michael's). But somehow on the latest trip Monday night, despite the ridiculous rain from hurricane Sandy which I didn't want to do, since well it was raining sideways and gray and murky and who wants to do errands in that kind of weather? I stumbled upon a group meeting.

Earlier in the rounds we had been making, I noticed one of the workers walking out of the back storage with a clear bag (think garbage bag size) filled with skeins of yarn, and I thought, "oh man, did she horde all that from the shelves and keep it all for herself? Damn girl." As we neared the front of the store, I notice that very same worker sitting with a few others at the few tables that were set out.

So after plucking up a bit of courage, I bumbled through a conversation, to find that they were a group that got together from 6-9 Monday nights to share and talk about projects and work on them. I was invited to join and confirmed as a true crocheter [apparently due to having several projects going on at the same time at various stages of completion - take that Kristine :P - though I still appreciate the occasional push ^_^].

Though somehow... I'm a little worried for myself... why? Well, let's just say, I'll be joining a group of much older women who like watching dancing with the stars live [I'm sorry my opinion of that show has dropped considerably in the past few years]... So does the fact that I'm kinda excited to join this group of old biddies make me one too?

Happy Halloween!

*Old Biddy Syndrome - just in case you didn't get the reference ^_^

---

Show and Tell, Progress 2

Hi.

So continuing on in the spirit of logging my positive points in life...

• Clearly I have too few crochet projects on the table, and I need more. So I've added on an additional project (already a tenth or an eighth of the way through). What makes this seem alright? Well, the cute project is almost done. Just the tassels and knotting/tucking the stray ends in left to do which some would consider the hardest part of the project...
• I am now finally a VIP member at Pat Catan's. Free membership complete. Now the only problem? All the yarn is always marked down with a red tag... which equates to no discounts. Joy. Well, at least  it's tax exempt and there's the beads and wiring for the project I'm working on with the temple...
• Physical exercise is a go. Yoga was Wednesday and Friday nights this week, and will be repeated the same next week. Now given that each day has been followed by a recovery day, maybe I should carry on the spirit of working out (in my own this time) to ensure there is no repetition of the slacker days. Positive thinking, motivation activating... ok, let's try that when it really counts like not 1:30am ^_^.
• Tomorrow will hopefully be the first in the long series of attempts to learn Sanskrit. Now, where is that notebook I'd say I'd procure? Well, there's always computer paper :D.
• As a few of you know, I've been trying this thing called Friday Night Wine Nights (FNWN for short). First 2 Fridays went along without a hiccup. The following 2 were somehow made up later the same weekend, though differing in species of poison and brand of company. But this week, by some miracle of serendipity, not only did FNWN proceed without a hitch, but a new red wine was savored (fruity, not very dry, inexpensive, and with potential for use in a variety of situations), there was vibrant company and delicious food, and I learned that wine nights need not happen in the wee hours of the night ^_^.

So maybe progress? Only time will tell ^_^.

But of course this is not yet the end. A few things to share with you, for your hearing pleasure, the songs of this post (2 cuz the last one didn't have a song ^_^):

Now many singing/music collaborators (a Capella, solo composers, DJs, showchoir, glee clubs, etc) have taken it upon themselves to combine two or more songs in a medley or mashup. And frankly, to me it's very easy to fail. Sure it's easy to find songs that come together wonderfully or follow such similar paths that joining their melodies can be found. (Though it's the ones you don't expect could be combined that amaze you ^_^). But the biggest criticism I've had is that the songs are not mixed well enough. Aside from highlighting each song, what really makes the mashup shine is when both songs are juxtaposed frequently (having lines from both songs come together several times not just once in transition). One of the best examples of a mashup I've ever heard (the full version, and if you can, pay attention to all the voices/lines sung):

The first thing that drew me about this next song? The ukulele sounding stringed instrument at the start ^_^. Well that and the name of the band, Imagine Dragons. At first it was shock since I felt they were kind of ripping off I Fight Dragons. Yet somehow the name brought this sort of rising, hopeful feeling inside, something fantastical (ok, not a word, but the one that came to mind ^_^), and it meshed with the song, making it grow into this happiness monster. But by all means, let me not get carried away, for it is indeed time to begin listening to the song:

I hope you enjoyed this slightly longer than usual Little Scratch ^_^. Goodnight and sweet dreams [of pineapples].

---

Progress

Hi.

I figured that maybe if I document progress, I'll stick to progress, and not regress back to where I was before.

• I've gotten back to crocheting, a big project, a challenging project, and a cute project are all on the work table. And add to that, I can get a VIP card from Pat Catan's for free before Oct 25th, and I'll get more discounts on yarn, and I might even tackle a 2 yr old project that never seems to get finished.
• I'm going to learn Sanskrit, plans include learning from my brother with the side positives: I'll be able to use that to see him more often, I'd get out of the house on the weekends, and we'll be able to share his textbook. And on top of that, it's practice for him, since he's taking the course as we speak. Now just to pick a dedicated notebook...
• Today, I volunteered at the temple, decorating the tent/carrier thing used for tonight's Navrathri puja. And I have been given the chance to make a more lasting decoration that can be reused year after year. Community/volunteering/spiritual work that'll be good for the mind and soul ^_^.
• I helped out by tutoring a bad mouthing, back talking (or so I was told) nine year old who I actually didn't think was much worse than the usual distracted, curious nine year old. And not only did I manage to help him finish his homework, but I also apparently managed to get him to act more civilized/respectful than he's ever been.

(I'm getting vibes of déjà vu... is this my grade school journal again? ^_^)

All in all, it's been a good few days. I've gotten out of the house (even if it's just to get a bit more yarn), and I feel like I'm doing something proactive. So after all that, why do I just want to curl up into a ball and stay there listening to my "Blah" playlist?

Well... maybe I do know why. But that's for me to brood about and you to puzzle over.

---

Harmed

Hi.

There are many kinds of hurt. There's the physical kind - the boo-boos, the cuts and scraps, the accidents, the cancerous, the inflicted - those that register as bodily damage. There is another category, the emotional.

To quantify these, well, you'd have to be an expert. Or, you could experience them all. And somehow as time goes, I seem to be racking up quite a repertoire.

Absent Minded Professor-ness

Hi.

There is a serious and fatal mental condition affecting the population of the globe, both young and old - the onset unpredictable. It is a serious disease, causing loss of memory, oblivion to the surrounding environment, and even sudden loss of coherence mid-thought.

And so when you find yourself with these symptoms, it's time to get serious.

Unchallenged

Hi.

"A mind that remembers the insignificant little details, is a mind that shows the potential for greatness but lacks the challenging material to harness that potential."

Just yesterday, I came across this saying at a workshop. A dance workshop in fact. And it occurred to me, that lately, my mind seems to have been filled with the most ridiculous, idiotic bits of information. Something that had never happened when I was dancing.

Now, as you may know I love to dance, and it's a kind of escape for me. Part of it was that I could dance and completely not think about anything else - probably because I was completely using my brain power towards dancing: memorizing the choreography (and making it ^_^), how to move your body, the music, the formations, the expressions, etc, etc, etc.

I mean if there's one thing I can do, it's remember dance pieces, not just quickly, but also for a long period of time especially with muscle memory aiding the memory. I like to think it's because I have a separate brain for that kind of thing - or well, a separate side of the brain ^_^. You know, left side is analytical and right side is artistic; therefore, the left side remembers the deadlines, the class information, the studying, and the like, whereas the untapped space in the right side soaks up every aspect of my dancing.

So one would then assume, as the reinforcement of the dance items fades (no longer practicing), those neurons lose their connections, and the memories fade, leaving large areas of unused brain matter that are taken up by these useless thoughts.

So maybe it's time for me to go back and relearn those dance items, to reinvigorate my brain with dance. Maybe it's time that I back up my statement that I am a performer with the knowledge of the items I've learned. For what is a dancer without her dances?

---

Props

Hi.

For that awkward moment you just realize one boob is bigger than the other.

And not the one you thought.

---

Just Drive

Hi.

Procrastination jitters?

I've reached a point where something could actually happen. It'll no longer be in my head - actual events will unfold. I can do all those things I've planned to. All I need to do is apply the pressure on the gas pedal.

Yet I hesitate. 

I've shifted into drive, but my foot's cemented to the brake.

I'm nervous.

It's as if now that I'm faced with the product of my split second choice, I can't seem to move forward. There are butterflies... and not the good kind.

Is it because it means that this whole thing will be real? It feels serious.

Or is it because it's under wraps, and I just don't want to see my parents speculating looks?
My hand is reaching for the gear shift.

I can't seem to move forward.

I slam the parking break.

I distract.

I divert.

I fib.

I avoid.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxWpsUiAxL8

---

Dark Side

Hi.

What does it mean to be in a committed, serious relationship?

It of course would consist of fidelity, honesty, love, compromise, sharing - you know what you'd expect a relationship to consist of.

But what trips me over is the honesty. Not present honesty, but honesty about your past. There are those moments from your past that you are ashamed of, and things that have happened in your life, that though they define you, are only known to you, because you have covered the true reasons with the white lie you've been living.

Are you expected to reveal your truest secrets in the fear that such misinformation may lead to the death of said relationship when revealed?

*Cough*

Hi.

Holy shit I'm so amp-ed up that I can't even write this. 

It's like something's taken over me.

All I can do is squirm around, giddy as hell.

I can't believe I did that.

I can't believe it just happened.

Oh my fucking god I just DID that.

And then he just said that.

Oh my god, it just worked.

My adrenaline's skyrocketed.

Sleeping took forever.

I'm awake before my alarm.

Bubbly-butterflies-bumblebees-buzzing.
Is this even real?

And it started with a whisper

- well, a cough, but frankly does it matter?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Rgf7enIgoc&feature=relmfu

---

Frankenstein

Hi.

She's ALIVE!

Yes, I am. Really. It just seems that lately I've been stranded in a bubble in the suburbs, wilting away indoors.
Somehow, without tasks that force one from the confines of the house (to the extent that I despair when I'm deprived the opportunity to go grocery shopping) and people with which to interact, it becomes very easy to be lulled into a becoming a recluse.

So, yes. I'm alive.

Just barely.
---
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gt31tD-nABw

---

That spot between a rock and a hard place

Hi.

So if there's one thing I seem to know how to do, it's being mediator between my mother and my brother. I don't know when it seemed to become my 24/7 job description, but I can tell you that it is most definitely nothing to be ecstatic about. In fact being the go between just gets worse when you have been raised to do what you parents ask without question - leaving you in the middle and most definitely with no time on your hands.

Gravitation

Hi.

Disclaimer: 

I began writing this more than a month ago, and I am most definitely too lazy to re-edit the introduction.

And this post has a dictated soundtrack, so unless you have the data... no reading on mobile devices :P

And, now you may proceed ^_^

April, May - months that don't really end much, but very much like the nature of spring itself, they are months of many endings and beginnings have happened for me, full of events that have no undo button, locked behind bars in the dungeons of my mind. But like an echo, traces of their presence linger in my memories, to haunt me again and again and again.

And once I turn my mind to past events, visions of altered actions and possibilities of future events race through my mind. Even if I stand up and push away such thoughts, I seem to return to those thoughts with a renewed vigor fueled by recent events, despite every logical fiber of my brain screaming the delusional nature of such futures.

It's like I can't seem to escape the pull of these treacherous dreams. And it makes me wonder, given the fact that I can't seem to escape their orbit, can I really make claim that I have moved on, when I'm still trapped by their gravitational pull?

Badges of Honor

Hi.

Scar - 

(n) a wound that has healed poorly, or without the sufficient nutrients, causing the location to be filled with fibrous connective tissue instead of the correct skin and body tissues.

Or, like I like to consider it, a permanent memory etched into your skin, a reminder that you have lived your life and have the proof - probably a mindset more akin to that of age old cultures with a bit of a romantic flair to the whole thing. (which frankly is kind of weird now that I've typed it out... I'm really strange... :P).

Return to the Matrix

Hi.

I know, I know, it's been forever since my last post... in fact I think it's my first post in May, and there's barely a week left in the month...

But not all of it's my fault - I've been off grid for some time now.

Ok, I exaggerate a bit... I wasn't completely off grid, but I most definitely was as close to it as I could possibly get, and I definitely was around folk that were completely off grid - because it's easier to do that when you live in the middle of the ocean on a live volcano.

^_^

It was amazing, everyone should go there, I never wanted to leave, but alas I had to return to reality - but man it was AMAZING...

...to be continued... 

(after I finish organizing, captioning/tagging, and posting the 1,000+ photos taken on both cameras brought to the islands, and possibly unpacking and doing laundry at the least... >.<)

P.S.: And yes, I refer to the islands of Hawaii!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

(in case you were wondering ^_^)

---

Touch

Hi.

A mind unchallenged (or unused) will fall into a state of decrepitude.

Through disuse, newly formed synapses diminish in number. And with age the ability of those very neurons to recreate or even maintain such pathways abates.

It's through those connections we are able to sense the world around us. We live through these senses: seeing the faces of the people we care for, hearing the opinionated conversations, tasting the delicious meals shared, painting our memory with the aromas surrounding us, and feeling.

Feeling the kinship of another human being - reaffirming our connection to the people who are closest to us. That is what we communicate through touch. It is a way to remind ourselves that we are not alone - a connection that no form of technology has managed to reproduce. It is an intimate interaction. 

So it makes me wonder then that if we are without a consistent triggering of such sensory neurons, would those pathways will also fall into decay, leaving us with faded memories of another being's warmth?

---

Flora Fancies

Hi.

They are the ultimate gesture of apology, adoration, gratitude, sorrow, regard - you name it. They brighten any room, by bringing all that is fresh and alive indoors. They decorate nearly every celebratory event and all those that are for mourning or loss. They are vibrant and subdued. People even say that they have special meanings, each type or each color symbolizes more than what meets the eye. And apparently every girl should have a favorite.

Frankly, I didn't figure out mine until the last year or so, and really, there isn't just one... and even then I can't be bothered to say those are the only favorites I have.

Lowest of the Low

Hi.

It's something that you feel to your bones: something that vibrates through your cartilage, tendons, and muscles - that makes your adipose tissue hum. Slow and lumbering, yet somehow essential, it adds the extra layer of depth and just depth in general.

It's the lowest of the low, the lowest of low registers.

Powerful Words

Hi.

In just about every fantasy novel you could have read, it seems that there is one unwavering law woven into the fabric of the world: the power of a single word, a name. It holds power over that which it labels - it describes any living or inanimate object - its essential definition.

A name. It is but a word, yet its value is more than we can comprehend. Not only is a name how we differentiate who and what we are, it can hold power over how the rest of the world will judge you. It follows the simple idea that any word or name holds more than one purpose or meaning, and we are slaves to these predetermined connotations held by the "other" party.

There is a burden that comes with naming something or someone. For once you have bestowed the word upon said focus, it in a way becomes permanent. After you have provided the name, you no longer control the destiny of that which you have given birth to. You can only hope to have a chosen a name that will not be ridiculed or disrespected - hope that it will not be twisted into a grim or faded version of its origin.

So when given the role of the namer - or creator - of a new existence, I find my mind blank, unable to engineer one word to completely define it.

Snap. Crackle. Pop.

Hi.

It's all around you. The signs are everywhere. Hesitant green amid the cold earth. Breezes caress, no longer biting. A litany of high pitched trills - at every hour of the day. Sunlight now bathe worthy. The thunderous cracking of ice disrupting months of silent nature. Change has come.

It should come to no surprise. As it does every year, when the orbit of the earth brings the sun closer to the northern hemisphere, nature seems to wake bringing a fresh new start - bringing forth crowds of new life from the remains of old, almost a mockery of those that slumbered to no longer wake. Surrounded by the budding flowers, beautiful whimsical weather, and the masses of people recharging depleted sun quotas, I find myself waiting for the other shoe to drop.

It seems almost morbid of me to think so. Most I know take an optimistic stance wishing for the weather to stay on its current path. I scoff that their naive ideas - it's yet too early. I mourn the buds which have eagerly flourished with the loss of frost. I look to others and admonish, you'll regret putting the winter gear in storage. I know; I have experienced. It will not last.

It brings me to wondering, despite the evidence of years past, could I be misplacing my judgment? Am I really questioning the fate of the weather, or am I skeptic to more? Have I been looking at myself and doubting the assertions and conclusions I've made myself? Could they all be just as misleading and hope-crushing as a false spring?

It is unique that so many of us hold such an pleasant foreshadow with the weather, but when making or observing the personal changes around us, there is always a shock or disbelief and wonder at any success. Have we as humans faced such lapse in positive change that at the mention of a new resolution, doubt colors our thoughts despite any support we may vocalize?

It is not that I object to the rightful place of pessimism in this world. I merely wonder when the optimism leaked out of our sight. Could it be the gradual decay of our child-like naivete till we all end up the shriveled old men, yelling at the glimmer of happiness?

It would be a sadness - no a tragedy. For without change, it would be indeed a mad, mad world.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4N3N1MlvVc4

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One step, and then Another

Hi.

So as you may have noticed, I've had a bit of a long break in February - a hiatus if you will... but really I had yet again been bitten by the procrastination bug. So it's actually quite exciting that I have finally gotten a dent into the plethora of posts accumulating in my drafted posts.

It seems like I've been caught up in a hum drum routine and with a commute to and from home, nothing too exciting has been going on. Although, there have been a few things going on in my life that aren't necessarily just for kicks - like how I finally took the initiative and made up my mind to make the endeavor, the Herculean challenge, of completing the Pittsburgh Half Marathon.

Pro-life. Wait, pro-WHAT?

Hi.

Politics. It's a field that is wrought with moral dilemmas and shit slinging. It's a place where the line between government and personal justice is often blurred. For regardless of the form of government exists, it is so closely intertwined with the society that has (at some point in time) either willingly or unwillingly relinquished certain rights to allow it's reign. It is the hope of said societies that they are then ruled by policies that are established by the truths they live by. It is those very truths that make the core of a person. They define who you are and what you came from. They are immobile tracks carry you through life.

I find that in a country as vastly different as mine, there are so many of these immovable stances, that any compromise of shades of gray can be seemingly impossible - as certain parties maintain the stance that the country must live by one individual's standards. How can they ask that when our country is so diverse, that we are considered a mosaic of cultures that have mixed with the American fervor that combine tradition with something new creating a unique society that is ours?

I find that I have yet to establish many stances such as these in relation to US politics. Maybe it's because I have yet to truly participate in a world beyond my own personal bubble and I enjoy blissfully ignoring it. But with the current election coming up - and having to listen to the idiocy called the Republican debates - I most definitely know that I have at least a few. And there is one stance that I refuse to budge on. To quote John Stewart of The Daily Show, I am referring to the "Punanny State" aaaaaaaaaaaand it's closely related sister, abortion.

Comical Truth

Hi.

The other day I was making progress through the complete collection of Calvin and Hobbes (it's one of those ever relevant comics). From the mouth of Calvin, in response to Hobbes' inquiry:

"Sure! When you're serious about having fun, it's not much fun at all!"

There are several hobbies and activities we enjoy in our lives. But at some point, we get so busy, caught up in the humdrum of our normal routine, there seems to be no time for things that we enjoy doing - rock climbing, crocheting, piano, painting... all those things you say you'll get back to at some point. However, it seems, that if you don't actually plan these things into your schedule, you may not ever get the chance to enjoy them. And when you have to block out segments of time for them, it seems to remove the spontaneous nature of said activities, thereby sucking the joy out of them.

It makes one wonder, do the words of a comic-book, fun-seeking six-year-old hold more than just a grain of truth?

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Excitation

Hi.

It's easy to understand that the level of excitement equates to the level of joy and interest in an idea, relationship, a valued item. So when people try to convince themselves that they are satisfied with something else, where the excitement is sub-par, it makes me wonder:

Are they unable to attain that which brings climactic excitation and must accept and adapt to what they can afford, or are they settling for what is easily begotten, forgoing the extra effort required to reach what they yearn for?

When faced with either, is it still possible to maintain a joyful, stimulating mindset with the knowledge that you do not have what truly excites you?

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On the Market

Hi.

Just the other day, I got a "save the date" from a friend of mine from college. She's a year older than me, was a chemical and biomolecular engineering major and my co-choreographer the first year and a half that I was a captain for my classical Indian dance team. That being said, when we first met, I knew nothing about who she was - in my head, she was just a serious, talented dancer. But due to the lengths of time, the close quarters, and teaching moments that come with choreographing for a dance team, I got to know just how funny and crazy she  really is (let's just say that we got along really well, despite the conflicting ideas and obstinate personalities on either ends). Regardless, she was a very close friend of mine.

So you're probably wondering why I mentioned the whole save the date thing. Well, I've been invited to her wedding.