Special

Hi.

Happy October!!!! So work has been a real grind fest (which meant I didn't have the time to try to regain the Brewfest Kodo Dragon mount >.< ... I guess I'll have to wait till next year... speaking of which, I think I might be lost if I play WoW again, waaaaay too much has changed........ anyway....)

So finally, I've gotten the chance to post a thing or two!

Ok, so first things first, a few updates:

1. I've joined a co-ed outdoor soccer team! It's fun, I get out of the house, and I get to hang out with a bunch of people I wouldn't have hung out with otherwise. Unfortunately, our team doesn't have consistent attendance, and since we need a minimum of 3 girls on the field for a team of 8, invariably we play under-staffed and I always have to stay on the field.
   
   So ok, that's not exactly horrible, but it would be nice to occasionally get a break during some of the more running-intensive games we play. Or the games when I get beat up a little more than usual... I still stand by my sole purchase of shin guards over cleats, considering the potential bruising I have avoided. But when it rains, and the field has little grass, I very much wish I had gotten the cleats. But since the "season" is almost done, it doesn't exactly make much sense to get them now.
   
   It is nice that I'm finally not being overlooked as a player on the field. It means that though I was an awesome mid-fielder, I am truly shining on D, which means I do get passed the ball, and I am recognized on the field as a contributing team mate. It is astonishing how long it can take to get through to certain egoistic males...
   
   So despite the long commute and a few other kinks, it's a lot of fun!
   
   
2. I think I need to start keeping track of the wines I have been drinking lately. There's this awesome store a few blocks from my place that has a selection from all over the world. And since some of them are very affordable, I end up curious and trying a lot of different blends and grapes.
   
   Since I've been thinking about doing so for a while, I've already taken snapshots of the bottles so that I might remember what I have consumed. Unfortunately, a lot of the labels are not in English, so I end up only remembering whether it was a red or white wine instead of which name is the grape and which name is the winery/castle/brand.
   
   
3. As we move on into the last part of the year, I'm very excited for Codeduck who is moving onto the next step in what is the saga that is life. And I can't wait to go and see her new digs - and go wine tasting and food eating and trail blazing and a whole lot of stuff!!!!! WooHOOOOOO! Haha, ok, I really am excited for her, not just you know to visit her :P.
   
   
4. On a slightly different note, boys are stupid. Ok, that really wasn't an update, since it's more of a known fact, but it had to be restated.
   
   In a previous post, I had mentioned taking a hands off position with respect to a certain guy. After a bit of figuring things out, I realized that I might as well go full throttle at the start. So if things bomb, I can say that I tried everything I could; therefore, it's really not on me that things didn't pan out.
   
   Of course, guys are stupid, so progress has stagnated to a halt. And to bother to get into the details is waaaaaay more effort than is whole thing is worth.
   So moving forward with said groom quest, I go forth with the mantra, If they want to talk to you, they will talk to you. And considering experience and who I've heard this from, a very wise mantra indeed.
   
   
5. I am currently discovering a new line of curly hair care and I'm really excited to try it out. I've been trying to grow my hair out and taking care of said hair is a gargantuan task - especially considering that I want to my hair to be luxurious in its length. So here's to hoping for the best!

And I think that is all for the life updates, so continue on for the actual post!

It's in one of those self reflection moments that I realize that I try very hard at some things. And one of those things, is trying to something unique.

I realize already that with my eclectic tastes that I am certainly one of a kind. Yet, a personal validation is quite unfulfilling.

Sometimes it's like I over-emphasize certain aspects of my own personality to become special for that exaggeration.

When I was in middle school, I was the smart, sharply-sarcastic chick who was one of the boys. In high school, I was the nerdy, slightly out of touch, "Indian" girl (and I mean super Indian). In college, I was the slightly crazy, dance master with the awesome ass. At work, I'm the super energetic one.

In a way, yes I am all of those things - all of them together. Each individual one, is only a flat, 2 dimensional representation of myself. It requires a combination of them all to really be me.

So why then do I still seem to maximize only parts of my personality?

I think it's mostly an exaggeration of what people notice when they get to know me. For instance, when you meet someone, there will be personality traits that pop out to you after a few interactions - like how someone is very expressive with their hands, or that someone gets really hyper about a certain subject.

It's this superficial understanding that somehow imprints on me. So when I next interact with those people, I try very hard to be that person - whether it's the craziness, or the dancing, or the sharp sarcasm. By being recognized for a certain quality, I try to be the epitome of that quality.

However, when I look at how I am with my close friends and family, I don't think I bother to push a characteristic. I'm somehow more relaxed about who I am perceived. And that's probably because these people already know more about who I am.

But all of this doesn't really explain why I try to be unique by exaggerating certain recognized aspects of myself.

The crux of it seems to be that I want to have all parts of me recognized. That someone realizes and acknowledges all of my personality quirks - or what I'm really into - or what I'm awesome at doing.

Because logically it stands that if every part of me is acknowledged, then I will emphasize all acknowledged parts, and therefore nothing with be emphasized, and ultimately I will be genuinely me. Simple, right? ^_^

Clearly I just want to be acknowledged as someone special on a regular basis :P

Haha, well enough of this indirect request to be complimented... And happy autumn!


Cuz sometimes you're in this kinda mood

For a friend that's feeling a little down