Blah blah blah

Beware.

Hi.

But seriously - BEWARE. Below are the ramblings of a highly tipsy individual - though that might be due to the white wine, and we all know what that does to me... well ok me and a certain few individuals might know... but let's save that rambling for below - that is if you dare to attempt to follow the rambling thoughts of a said tipsy individual.

Though there might be some insight - but that's for you to dig for, not for me to clarify. Afterall there is no filter this time.

(There'll be music. On repeat. And you can't stop it. Just a warning ^_^_^_^_^_^_^).

So how did we get here...

There was an unplanned dinner at Mad Mex with the fam, which considering was after 10pm we (by which I refer to my mother and I) decided to indulge in the usual big ass margarita. Now, the flavor of the month was peach, which we had tasted before and frankly was weak in flavor - I mean it tasted like a weak regular margarita, though I remembered we had tried it previously (I think it was one of the options for flavors in the alcohol menu) and wasn't flavorful like the honey dew margarita was, which was AWESOME and acutally tasted like honey dew (I don't know how they did it, but I'm jealous) - and so we got a frozen regular lime margarita, 22oz, for the table.

Now, of course I say for the table, but that's not what we tell the waiter. I feel like recently Mad Mex has instituted an ID check for everything and every single time I've come late at night with my family I'm ID-ed if I'm seen drinking or I've ordered the drink... Ok, here's the thing I don't mind when I"m with me-aged folks or alone when I'm ID-ed cuz frankly you just want to be sure. But me looking as "age-eligible" as I do, with my parents, do I really need to be checked? Seriously?... sigh... it's just annoying in that situation really...

Anyways, we ordered the drank for my mother. And of course my dad had a highly generous portion - despite the fact that he goes, oh I don't need it. Seriously, I think he's been conditioned over the years of my parents' marriage to drink my mother's drink. On top of this, we've gone to dinner late enough times that we almost always order the big ass margarita for the discounted price, and my father takes it upon himself to drink the majority of the drink (to reduce the amount we females drink.... grumble grumble), and then add my bro tasting the drink when he wishes: we share the drink with the table.

Now today, honestly, my dad drank a majority but the rest of us got sips in here and there. But after I came home, I had the usual after effects of alcohol, and for some reason it hinted at the memories of tipsy loveliness. So at the right moment, I poured myself a generous glass of that oh so wonderful white wine. So first, it was the only bottle we had open at home (though we just went wine shopping, so our cache is full - probably going to last twice as much as the previous purchases), and well I know how fast I fall to the wines of white so I reached a very nice bubbly, floaty, spiny, happy state.

There was a bit of dancing, a bit of spinning and feeling the dizziness in my roller desk chair - it's on the line where it's not nausea inducing since it's just tipsy not smashed. I don't know why I was into exploring/pushing those boundaries. I mean dizzy from alcohol is frankly not a fun experience. But I realized I'd like to hold out the experience and maybe write something down just to have something to do sooooooooooooooo, I made the decision.

I popped open a French Malbec that I had purchased and got myself a snack (spicy nacho jacked Doritos), blasted my music and hoped to float along in the world of tipsy and well, maybe share a little.

I mean it's been forever since I've properly written some posts. It reflects my lack of attendance on the SciFri podcasts and of course thereby sharing of said favorites. It makes me sad, like it makes my friend sad that he does not keep in touch so well with his friends. So I shall share my ramblings. I'll stay away from some of my really planned ones - well I'll try but I'm not sure if I won't lead myself there inadvertently. Meh, whatever, let's keep going.

Do you know how long it's been since I've seriously had some legit alcohol? May. Seriously. May. Like what the hell? I mean I feel like a fricking light weight today, but that just might be the fact that it's the time of the month. You're welcome for the TMI. I live for the applause applause applause I live for the applause applause live for the applause applause live for the...

And I seriously miss being lost in the haze and socializing with folks. I miss it like I miss the feeling of being lost in the tugs of attraction and the games of flirtation. I miss the seduction of dancing against another - the teasing enticement, that leaves so much to the imagination. I think I've been tricked into looking upon it with disgust: the innocence stripped away. Or maybe I just am lost in not having someone I can do this with. There is something powerful in that dance - the control you exert, the sensuality that you don't have to hide. I miss having that solid person that not only takes is, but it gives back.

It scares me that someone arranged might not be able to understand that. That they won't be able to accept that part of me. How the hell am I this contrary? I'm super traditional, and yet I push the boundaries on the rebellious end. I need the person who'll accept both the strict parts and the passionate, crazy parts. And considering the high likeliness of me ending up with the arranged option, the traditional will be accepted - it's the expected. But what will be the reaction to the body ink, the dancing, the "dancing", the indulging of alcohol, the crazy personality?

Somehow I feel like I've never had someone who's accepted everything in that particular way. That can take the confidence and the vulnerability and understand the mix between them - not assuming that only one exists. Cuz you can't be vulnerable for a person you don't trust will accept and support you through it.

Ah, it's time for a refill on the Malbec. It's actually interesting. Considering my favorite Malbec is Argentinian, this French one isn't bad. It's fruity and not too dry (though on occasion I feel like I'm drinking something raisin flavored). Please never offer me Chilean Malbec... I will not appreciate it. Considering Malbec is a South American grape strain, I'm surprised that I found a French one. For some reason I felt like the French wine makers would be pickier about their grapes - especially considering how the names are derived from the castles the vineyards belong to.... But anyways, I have an inclination to believe that the Doritos are assisting in making the flavor favorable. Ok, brb.....

So I amend, I think this Malbec is actually pretty light considering how Malbecs are in the drier range of red wines. And unfortunately the barrier has been broken. There is definitely one thing I miss about drinking - the company that I'm used to coming with it. The people around you that are just as silly mentally as you are. Sigh... Maybe that's why I wish someone was up to talk with me and join me in this lovely feeling.

Hmmm now where was I... Oh boring things, so let's move on.... make 'em touch, touch... I find this new single by Lady Gaga interesting because it's a combination of the "nice" and "psycho" singing styles she has. It sounds like a nice song, a catchy song that I can't seem to stop listening to. It's wonderful!

Did I mention that I need to go dancing? Like asap? So that means when I visit you, there needs to be unadulterated dancing fun yes? I totally have the shoes I'll need - but I might bring too many... there are so many options! (even if I don't have the dress/outfit for it planned yet ^_^). Did you know crtl+<- makes a song go back to the start in grooveshark?

OMG I have a story to tell you about shoes. An amazing miracle story. Let's go back to the beginning of summer - by which I mean fashion summer which means in the middle of spring. On one of out trips to the mall, I find a pair of Nine West shoes that catch my eye. It's a cute bright red low heel spring heel. Set to it's original price of $72. So begins my obsession.

From then on, each visit to Macy's includes a visit to the Nine West tables to view my shoe. Time and time again I still see it. Either original price or discount to a mere $60. I know incredible sale right? >.<

So after months of mooning over this shoe, we come to yesterday. Another routine visit to Macy's to take care of bills and returns. As usual, I head to the shoe dept. once possible. Upon visiting the table, I find that I am too late. There are no summer collection shoes displayed. There are but booties and boots and winter/fall style footwear. I am resigned to having lost my chance at the shoe (this happens frequently, it's very easy to accept).

Can there be a party? With enough people that the place feels full? Whomever I visit first, can we have a party? A full blast party? Wouldn't it be fun and entertaining? Can we? Pleeeeeeeeeeease?

Disappointed, I returned to my mother's side as she peruses the women's clothing section till she makes her final decision. In a sudden last ditch effort I consider that summer line shoes have been placed on clearance, and that I may have a chance. Leaving my mother for one last look I head to the 7-7.5 size section. My search is in vain, but is that a summer line Nine west shoe I spy? Why indeed it is. I round the corner and lo and behold the precious is sitting on the edge of the rack: red in color and 6.5 in size. - in fact the very size I had first tired on way back when that looked adequent on my feet.

with a quick verification to go ahead with the inquiry, I request the matching shoe to the right and await in anticipation. Upon arrival, I notice the clearance racks are not marked down 65% sale. It is actually 75%! I think this red wine is taking me beyond my limits.

I ask a price check on the shoe - I have not the care to exercise my mental capacities at this time - to find that the shoes is but $20!!!! I want to have the person I can say I love you to.... I want that, I want my personal love toy for life.

Joined by my mother, I try on the shoes, and realize we are on the border of ok. The bystanders root for me, praising the shoe fit and sharing their envious thoughts - all which urge me to forego the consideration for the fit of the half size smaller shoe. But that is what I wore when I first tried the shoe - the fit was perfect then - it can be perfect now, let's buy it!

We present the coupon and buy the shoe for the wonderful price of $15. I am amazed and gushing rambling thoughts, because for once I found the shoe on clearance after seeing it when it came out at the beginning of the season. It completely obliterates the fact that I missed purchasing a pair of discount sandals on 9West.com online. OMG I FOUND THE SHOES I'VE BEEN PINING AFTER FOR 4 MONTHS AT LEAST FOR $15!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's still days after and I'm still so pumped about it... now I need to get the chance to wear them.... friends give me the chance to wear them!

And now that I've finished my glass and I've depleted my doritos... and I'm getting antsy and I should crash with my music into the bed. I'll leave you with the last comment:

I'm making an afghan! Like legit size 55"x70". But my brain is going, and I can't start because I have a coupon that let's me get $10 off the yarn, but I have to wait for Sunday to use the coupon so I'm stuck with the wonderful plans in my head only... >.<

 Pause this to play the final song!

Good night and here's the song for you to enjoy at the end as my ramblings have come to an end - I want to crash in bed!: