Powerful Words

Hi.

In just about every fantasy novel you could have read, it seems that there is one unwavering law woven into the fabric of the world: the power of a single word, a name. It holds power over that which it labels - it describes any living or inanimate object - its essential definition.

A name. It is but a word, yet its value is more than we can comprehend. Not only is a name how we differentiate who and what we are, it can hold power over how the rest of the world will judge you. It follows the simple idea that any word or name holds more than one purpose or meaning, and we are slaves to these predetermined connotations held by the "other" party.

There is a burden that comes with naming something or someone. For once you have bestowed the word upon said focus, it in a way becomes permanent. After you have provided the name, you no longer control the destiny of that which you have given birth to. You can only hope to have a chosen a name that will not be ridiculed or disrespected - hope that it will not be twisted into a grim or faded version of its origin.

So when given the role of the namer - or creator - of a new existence, I find my mind blank, unable to engineer one word to completely define it.

Some how, despite my ability to create a cohesive collection of fluid movements for a dance or bring to life a crocheted pattern in my mind, I am always at a loss of what I could name something. I find my gaze caught by others' inventive phrases and names, wishing I could have come up with such unique terms.

Many people dream up the names for the children they hope to have. I know I'd love to have children. Do I know what I'd like to name them? Heavens no. I have not the remotest inkling. I learn of other babies names (for example Arjun or Arun) and find a fancy to them. Either that, or I consider passing on the names of my predecessors to them. It's like I am caught in the middle of a dilemma, their names must be unique, original, but pleasing to the ear. And somehow, I just keep coming up with names I've already heard but immediately disqualify due to the current owners of said names.

Which is why it's no wonder that I had a hell of a lot of trouble figuring out what to name my blog, choose the web address, and create my own pen name.

It shouldn't be a surprise that my own psedonym, Little Red, did not originate with me. It was one of the first legit nicknames I was given, around my second year in college. Now, my true name is a short little thing, two syllables only. So when it came to providing me with nicknames, well let's just say that genius of my middle school and high school friends could only brainstorm additions to my original name rather than a quick replacement for it (think middle names such as Danger just because I have a black belt in Taekwondo). Let's just say it was a lot easier just to say my name then call out these tongue twisters they called pseudonyms.

There really isn't anything of special significance tied to Little Red, aside from the fact that it comes easily to those who call me so. How did I come to receive such a name? Well, it really started when I bought this long red winter jacket from Old Navy. And then somehow managed to wear it in conjunction with other red articles of clothing or exercise gear for my dance team practices. Coupled with my underclassman status and shy-ish nature at the time, I was dubbed Little Red from then on.

I like having a nickname that I did not come up with. I like to think that it has expanded on its original purpose to still remains pertinent to me, myself, and I (ok, I admit that was a tad bit weird to say it that way... right moving on). Add to it the warmth which people call me it and the way it provides me with the constant theme of red for Eclipsed's design, I have no qualms over using a name that someone else has so conveniently provided me ^_^.

So the real dilemma came when assigning a web address/title of the blog. They really go hand in hand with each other, as they both label and define the blog. One may have more weight than the other, but essentially, they both are always present when you visit a blog.

To be honest, I don't remember which I thought of first. In fact, my first attempt at naming my blog was based on a alliteration and what I thought were fancy words. What I do recall is that somehow I came up with the idea that what I was writing were like scratches on the wall of a jail cell. Yeah, it sounds pretty morbid, but I think the point was that with no where else to go, and no other medium, the markings on the prison wall were the only method left to pour out the thoughts of your soul - hence scratches.

My thoughts then took an extremely morbid turn when the scratches became sanguine. Essentially, bloody scratches. But then I knew that these posts were akin to my personal journal or diary entries and were therefore secret. So in my quest to make my blog seem more unique, I searched for synonyms and came across surreptitious. My original blog title was "Surreptitious Sanguine Scratches".

When I realized I had started looking for fancier vocabulary for the word scratch, I realized that I was putting in way too much effort. By trying to impress people I have never met instead of being happy with it myself pretty much disregarded my entire purpose in starting Eclipsed. So of course I stepped back and started from scratch.

As you can see, I did not come back to the drawing board empty handed. Bringing back the idea of scratches led to the web address. How I came up with "scratchdrafts" remains foggy in my mind. Maybe it was the idea that these were rough or raw thoughts, without much editing (which in some cases is entirely true), so they were in a sense drafts. All in all, it was a little odd and quirky, and gave me a basis for some of the titles in Eclipsed.

Now that I think about it, I do think that I actually came up with the url after I came up with the title. Why is that? Well, I think I was stumped at trying to incorporate the title into the url. I mean, I did choose eclipsed, which after the twilight series and just the fact that eclipses are awesome was so overly used. So I pulled on my previous attempt to form the url.

I can't say how I came the thought of using eclipsed as a title, but I can tell you why I did choose it in the end. First and foremost, I grew up a huge space and NASA enthusiast as a kid. I would love going to the planetarium and looking through the huge optic telescope at the Carnegie Science Center. And despite the fact that I had never seen a solar eclipse in person, the beauty of it is just amazing (given the photographic evidence). Basically, eclipses are awesome.

So here come the deeper meanings. Growing up, I learned (sometimes the hard way) that people judge. Especially Indian people who are jealous, mean-hearted folk. So I had to build up a facade and any discord was to be smothered in public and only discussed in privacy. Any true sign of my thoughts was to be kept guarded, lest someone take them and misconstrue them to their own vile purposes. It's still the case, and I still do that when it comes to almost everyone I know. Which is why the thoughts that I write here have been hidden in my brain, knocking around against each other inside my skull. In other words, they have been eclipsed by the cover of a "all is well" facade.

You might be wondering, then why choose eclipsed? It is an entirely common word to use and is used to the extent that it could be called cliche even. And I can't deny that the fact it is so overused bugs the hell out of me. But its cliche nature also defines my blog. I mean the fact that I'm even writing in a blog is cliche. There are so many people out there writing their opinions and posting them for the world to see. It's done so much that me starting my own is kind of cliche. I am special because I am a unique human being. But many of the things I do seem to be doing what everyone else is. Maybe it's a reminder to myself that yes I am different from everyone else, but I am still one of billions of people, and my thoughts are similar to a lot of them.

I still look at the other blogs I follow, and I envy the titles they have chosen - they seem so much more clever and witty. But amid that envy, there is an acceptance that diction or vocabulary is not my strong suit. It's usually on the off chance that what I say is clever. Usually, whether it's said or written, my moments of brilliance are unintended and only come to light when others point them out to me. So in the mean time, I shall own my current title and url, while secretly debating whether or not to change them to something new and maybe less cliche ^_^.


Thank for the little of your time to say the words that really took entirely too long to write:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FV8frAVsxCk
(Unfortunately, I have been on a Maroon 5 binge, and I agree that there are probably several other more appropriate songs for this post, but my mind is too full of Maroon 5 to search for any other >.> peace.)